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Friday, February 12, 2010

This ones for the girls

You know its Valentines week this week. Everything is red and pink and hearts. There are the girls who are giddy and excited and giggly as they clasp hands with their boyfriends and then there are the girls who are discouraged, emotional and lonely. I know thats an extremist view of the week but its what I see. And maybe it makes us emotional but that is what makes us feminine, its only part of our charm.

So this is for all the girls who have sat on their bedroom floor and cried. Tears rolling down their cheeks, thinking no one loves them or at least not the boy they thought did. It seems almost pathetic to cry about something like that, doesn't it? But you girls know who you are. If you want a song to cry to, right now Carrie Underwood has the perfect song, "Someday when I stop loving you".

The tears could be for anything. For the boy who dumped you, the one who hurt you or the boy who forgot about you. For the best friend who stopped being friends. The fight that was never really important and somehow cannot be forgotten. Or what about the boy who got scared or hurt by you, and couldn't let that go? The boy you watched walk away. The boy who decided it wasn't worth the effort, you weren't worth it. Or maybe he just shunned you. And so the tears fall.

Go ahead, cry it out.

The Lord hears the tears of His precious daughters, Jacob teaches us that the sobbings and cries of His "fair daughters...ascend into heaven". He hears us. We are tenderhearted and compassionate. It is part of our makeup, it is our nature. When we love, we love all the way. We don't pass out conversation hearts to everyone we meet, we wait until we can give our entire, full and complete heart. That is why we cry. For when it is over, when all is said and done, we hurt because our heart is no longer our own. Part of it is left behind, within the one that we loved. We who love strongest, love longest.
I'm not sure we ever really get over the love either. It continues. We still care and still hope for the best, even as we hurt. How could we hate? We may pretend to. Its easy after being hurt to become upset or bitter...but after we've loved, its nearly impossible to turn that strongest of all emotions around to the opposite feeling. It is the pure love of Christ isn't it?

And so we take a chance. Over and over again. A chance on love. We give all we've got and hope its enough. What if it isn't? We take the blame. Most of the time it likely isn't ours to take but thats part of love too. How could someone we love so much and so deeply be at fault or have hurt us on purpose? So we give them the benefit of the doubt, whether they deserve it or not.

I am not trying to imply in any way that the men are to blame. I love men. Ha. I think that is part of my problem. I know that they hurt too. That their emotions aren't quite as close to the surface but I know that they cry (deny it or not), and they love completely. But this Valentines day I am thinking of the women. The blondes and brunettes and redheads. The girls who are tall or short and thick or thin, those who play the piano and play sports, who cook with chocolate or only eat it. This one is for those who hurt because they love so much. The girls who lose their hearts by giving to another, only to receive it back later...a little damaged and a little bruised.
The Prophet Lehi teaches that there is opposition in all things. We could not appreciate the sweet fruit of the tree of life if we did not also taste the bitter. It is a necessary evil in our lives. How could we love fully and completly and compassionately as our Savior otherwise?
I declare that this Valentines day ought to be different. No tears. To feel nothing would be disaster, but to hurt is what results in greater love. I admit, I don't want to go through it, I don't want to hurt again. But I know that as we love and hurt in our relationships, they only become stronger with the next relationship. So when we want to give up we have to say like the country song, "I'd rather hurt, than feel nothing at all". And then do it. We can do this girls. Don't let it get you down. Its a great holiday to wear red and pink (although not together) and it is a wonderful time to remember what love truly is. It is unconditional, that is why we can't stop loving them. It is deep, and that is why it hurts. It is patient and kind and understanding, it is full of hope and light and strength. It is the Savior's influence within us and through us. It is what spices up life and makes it exciting. Girls, when we love, we love all the way. And that is only part of our charm.

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